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1953 - Patience

The Story of the Opera

by John C. Gent

ACT I
Outside the Castle Bunthorne, a chorus of aesthetic maidens bewail the hopelessness of their love for Bunthorne, a fleshly poet who loves, not them, but Patience, a dairymaid. She, on the other hand, is quite innocent of any longing for love, a sentiment which she does not understand.
The officers of the 35th Dragoon Guards, to whom the aesthetic ladies were formerly engaged, arrive unexpectedly but the maidens have no further use for such crude creatures. Bunthorne's arrival on the scene, and the adoration of the love-sick maidens for him, infuriate the officers who look upon the whole business as an insult to the uniform. As soon as Bunthorne finds himself alone, he admits quite frankly that he is a sham. To Patience he avows his love but she is not interested.
Archibald Grosvenor, a childhood " flame:' of Patience, arrives on the scene but although she finds herself recapturing her childish regard for her very early playmate, she is deterred from committing herself by the realisation of the selfishness of monopolising the attentions of one in whom, as Grosvenor assures her, Jail women delight.
Matters having reached an impasse, Bunthorne arrives with his solicitor who has advised him to put himself up to be raffled for. This is too much for Patience, who offers herself to Bunthorne, and the other ladies promptly switch their affection to Grosvenor, much to Bunthorne's disgust.

ACT II
In a near-by glade, Lady Jane confesses to a middle-aged affection for Bunthorne while Grosvenor, rather sick of the attentions of the love-sick maidens, longs for Patience. To his protestations of love, she takes the stand that it is her duty to love Bunthorne, although she cannot bear the sight of him. Bunthorne is so jealous of Grosvenor that he decides to become as insipid as his rival for the affection of the maidens and in the meantime, three of the officers take the bold step of learning the aesthetic tricks of the cult to try and recapture the regard of their quondam sweethearts.
Bunthorne decides on a " showdown " with Grosvenor and threatens him with a terrible curse unless he alters his ways. In fear of this, Grosvenor becomes a perfectly matter-of-fact young man, which, of course, suits Patience down to the ground. Although Bunthorne is faced with the necessity of putting up, as an alternative, with the attentions of Lady Jane, his decision is somewhat spoiled by Jane's instantaneous acceptance of a proposal from the very rich, aristocratic Lieutenant the Duke of Dunstable, who is altruistic enough to think that his noble hand should be bestowed on the plainest lady of the lot. This rather leaves Bunthorne high and dry and he decides that he must be content with his original role of a lover of simple beauty as represented by tulips and lilies and other garden produce, to which the remaining couples are quite content to leave him, on rediscovering that there is some virtue, after all, in the affections of the opposite sex.
J. C. G.